Good Wednesday Morning!
The Geezer Brigade will now fry off the handle and into the flying pan.
Bah-rum-ba-ba-ha-rumph....
***
Welcome BACK, Old Friend!!!
GOOD OL' GEEZER JOHN! (jwsilvergy) (Charleston,
SC) (Mildly pertinent when asked, overtly impertinent when not.)
-- The Geezer in Chief (for now.)
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Grump of the Day:
"I don't understand anything about the ballet; all I know is that during
the intervals the ballerinas smell like horses."
- Anton Chekhov
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Existential Bumper Sticker of the Day:
"In these days, a man who says a thing cannot be done is quite apt to be
interrupted by some idiot actually doing it."
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Quotes courtesy of http://www.quotationspage.com
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Click HERE to reNEW or to JOIN: http://www.thegeezerbrigade.com/join.html
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"Breakfast with The Geezers!"
(Over the morning paper.)
ME: Well, I'll be darned.
BABETTE: Probably. And go to heck, as well. What's up.
ME: Vladimir Pootie-poot is Time's "Person of the Year." A Tsar is
born ...
BABETTE: The man into whose soulful eyes our President looked?
ME: The very one. Do you ever get the feeling when you look into our beloved
President's eyes on TV that somebody else is driving?
BABETTE: That's Letterman's line.
ME: I steal from the best. Anyway, the writer's strike is still on. I get to
do re-runs.
BABETTE: Who were the Runners-Up?
ME: Al Gore, for his slide show. A.J. Rowling for her impoverished napkin-writing.
BABETTE: Just you wait, Harry Potter; it's gonna get a whole bunch hotter...
ME: Wow. Double up on your meds this morning?
BABETTE: Yee ha, clunk.
ME: Th, th, that's all, forks.
(To be continued.)
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SPECIAL ESSAY CONTEST. SPECIAL ESSAY CONTEST? SPECIAL
ESSAY CONTEST!
What's one of the funniest things you ever saw? What?
(We're also starting a special section on the Web site devoted to GEeZEr-gRIpES!
(http://www.thegeezerbrigade.com/gripes.html). Contributions always welcome.)
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Your 1000± Words for Today!
GOOD OL' GEEZER DAVE!
(jarvis1) (Malahat, BC) (Totally underwhelmed by partial uniformity.)
(TGB)
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MEMBER CORNER.
Kaption Kontest! The sideways smiling snow shoveler.
"Angels we have seen on low." -- GOOD OL' GEEZER DAVE! (grandpafitz)
(Ontario, CA) (Has a thing about effluvia.)
"The man next door was an angel for shoveling the young divorce's sidewalk.
When he lays on his back and makes snow angels it's just like that cookie cutter
with the little handle." -- GOOD OL' GEEZER ROY! (rerodgers) (Appleton,
WI) (Wonders why anything would want to remain inorganic.)
"I will NEVER bet against the Patriots again - ever!" -- BAAD OL'
GEEZER LEE! (Walrus2646) (Bolton, MA) (Emphasizes certain vowels with a desperation
worthy of General Custer.)
***
ESSAY Kontest.
One of the funniest things I ever saw? "You probably had to be there but:
worked with a fellow, 6'5" tall -- know-it-all type, always wore cowboy
boots (California). We were out in the bog by the bay which was full of junk
brought in by the tide. He spotted what he thought was a piece of styrofoam
about 16" x 16" and told me he was going to 'kick that sucker across
the bay to San Francisco.' He got a running start toward it - about 20' away
- drew back his long ole leg and gave it a kick with all his might............turned
out to be a cement block!!! Being the big, blustery guy he was, he didn't say
a word, turned around and glared at me. His boot was split down the middle,
his face was purple and dripping with beads of perspiration. He limped back
to the office, saying zippo; next day came in wearing a cast. I, of course,
NEVER repeated this story to anyone in the office - heh heh heh." -- GOOD
OL' GEEZER SONJA! (Ss2141) (Minden, NV) (Thinks trowels could be much more beneficial
if worshipped.)
***
Today's Ya-Ha! for The Geezership!
True Story from Houston Medical Center!
A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his hoho.
According to the nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the ring in
his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip
the ring on his hoho while he was asleep.
I don't know what's worse:
1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your hoho.
3) Or finding out your hoho fits through a wedding ring!
GOOD OL' GEEZER ZOE! (hendavider) (Hardeharh, AR)
(Has an unblemished record of Bing Crosby singing "Silent Night.")
(TGB)
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GeezerSights of the Day:
Find
a discount on everything!
Merry Silly Christmas!
GOOD OL' GEEZER ZOE! (hendavider)
Idiot's Test.
Quarter Backs. GOOD
OL' GEEZER AUDREY! (macdouab)
Christmas Trivia Quiz.
( Babette scored 206!) GOOD OL' GEEZER SALLY! (Sallycee)
Seasonal
Paintings (Wonderful.) GOOD OL' GEEZER DON!
(dobo30)
White Christmas!
(Animation.) GOOD OL GEEZER SONJA! (Ss2141)
(TGB)
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Blasts from the Past: # 418.
Little Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room.
After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over
and then said a prayer.
"Fine," said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you
not misbehave, He will help you."
"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I
asked Him to help you put up with me."
("The Geezer Brigade's Famous List of 1001 Terribly
Terribly Funnies from The Internet: 1998-2001")
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Headline of the Day:
CIA advised to destroy tapes, but to "not let anyone ever know," ah,
ha, ha, ha, ha [clunk]
(TGB)
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A is for Aphorism, B is for Baghdad
"It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might
remember."
-- Eugene McCarthy
(TGB)
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And, finally, these other stories just in:
Yacht Club Regatta Marred By Tragic Undergrilling Of Mahi Mahi
NEWPORT, RI—Eighteen people were disappointed and six left badly unsatiated
Saturday when guests at the Newport Yacht Club's annual Harborside Regatta were
served mahi mahi that one patron described as "still a little pink inside."
(www.theonion.com)
(TGB)
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Elite Elder Artisans now being featured online:
GOOD
OL' GEEZER CONNIE!
(http://www.thegeezerbrigade.com/artisans/ConnieColten.html) (Austin, TX) Handmade
"Flowing" Jewelry! Incredible!
GOOD
OL' GEEZER JOE! (http://www.thegeezerbrigade.com/artisans/JosephLeach.html)
(Melrose, MN) Superb Pottery! Affordable!
GOOD
OL' GEEZER MAGGI! (http://www.thegeezerbrigade.com/artisans/MaggiGunn.html)
(Sun River, OR) Custom Jewelry! Dazzling!
GOOD
OL' GEEZER RON! (http://www.thegeezerbrigade.com/artisans/RonHunt.html)
(Lake City, MN) Lithographs! Museum quality!
GOOD
OL' GEEZER SID! (http://www.thegeezerbrigade.com/artisans/SidBolotin.html)
(Boynton Beach, FL) Original art on refrigerator magnets! Birds! Cats! Awesome!
GOOD
OL' GEEZER SUSANNE! (http://www.thegeezerbrigade.com/artisans/SusanneRiva.html)
(Northern VA) Limited Edition Prints! Famous!
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The Geezer Brigade: We put the fun in dysfunctional!
http://www.thegeezerbrigade.com/join.html -- "Our Tenth Year"
A Web Site for Sore Eyes and A. Friend for Life
"The Beaujolais was neither beau nor jollay."
P.O. Box 1097, Ocean Springs, MS 39566
Ta ta sauce: 228-818-XXXX
You can always reNEW your membership in The Geezer Brigade
by going to: http://www.thegeezerbrigade.com/join.html/
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Buh-Bye!"
"You want me to do WHAT?" Courtesy of GOOD OL'
GEEZER BRIAN! (stronginc)
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